BABY BLUES
by Desktop Dragon
Summary: *ONE SHOT* Ana leaves Christian after the belt incident and doesn't return to him, but then she discovers she is pregnant with his baby and has to decide whether to tell him or to proceed as a single mother. I DO NOT OWN FSOG OR ITS CHARACTERS.


**AUTHORS NOTE: Originally posted on the site in March 2019 and was the first FSOG Fan Fiction I had written in a very long time. A little 'one shot' which I couldn't get out of my head, and decided to put down, I'm not sure where it came from as I haven't consciously thought about writing any more fan fiction for FSOG for a long time.**

**It is basically a whimsical little ditty about reconciliation, facing your fears and trusting in love. I want to make it very clear that it is NOT the start of anything more and at this point in time I don't intend to write any further FSOG fan fiction, this was an anomaly which appeared and I felt was reasonable enough to share.**

**I do not own Fifty Shades of Grey or its characters by E L James.**

**BABY BLUES**

I stare at the little stick and close my eyes, but I can still see the word, it is now imprinted on my brain. 'PREGNANT'.

"Oh my god, how did this happen?" I say out loud and open my eyes again and stare at the stick hoping against hope that I was wrong and that word wasn't there at all.

I immediately go out and drink down several pints of water until I can't drink another drop and a short while later when I need to pee again I go back to the bathroom and to the paper bag and pull out two more tests, just to be sure. I do two this time, repeating the procedure I did a couple of hours previously.

I know that I have been in denial for the last month, when my first period didn't appear but I just put it down to not eating properly and the stress of breaking up with Christian, but when this month it failed to appear again and I have started getting symptoms which suspiciously correspond with those of early pregnancy I knew I could deny it no longer, but actually seeing it confirmed with the numerous little white sticks I now have strewn about in the bathroom has brought the truth down on me like a ton of bricks.

A few moments later and the latest pregnancy tests tell me what, in my heart I already know; I am pregnant, with Christian Grey's baby.

Panic surges through me at the very thought, and I burst into tears; I haven't seen him since that day nearly two months ago that I walked out of the penthouse. He sent me some flowers when I started my job at SIP and he emailed me and he had offered to take me to Jose's photography exhibition. An offer which I politely declined, I still went to see Jose and drove myself, borrowing Kate's car which she had left for me to use while she was in Barbados.

I am just starting to get myself together again, after spending the last couple of months telling myself it was for the best and there was no way we would work, I was actually starting to believe it and although I know I will always love him, I also know we could never be together as what I wanted and he _needed_ were just too different. Now there is this, I am in no way ready to be a mother but the thought of putting an end to it doesn't even register in my mind, this baby didn't ask to be conceived so it doesn't deserve to die because of our mistake.

"Ana, are you ok?" I hear Kate's anxious voice and I realise she must have heard me crying. I quickly wipe my face and go to the door and open it.

Standing the other side is Kate she looks at me, she is worried. "God Ana what's wrong you look like shit" she says bluntly.

I let out a small sob and then the tears start to fall again and I walk into her arms.

"Hey Ana, what is it?" Kate asks. I can hear the panic starting to colour her words.

"I'm pregnant" I whisper.

She stiffens and pushes away from me, "Nooo" she says.

I nod and sniff again.

"Christian's?" she asks and I nod again, she winces and closes her eyes, "Oh hell" she says and then grabbing me she pulls me close once more.

"Are you going to tell him?" she asks after a moment's silence.

I shake my head, "No" I say sharply and Kate raises her eyebrows.

"Don't you think he has the right to know he is going to be a father?" she asks.

I shake my head, "I said no, Kate" I say a little more sharply than I intended.

"Ok, ok fine" she says, But I can see the look on her face she isn't happy about this, and my decision does put her in a slightly awkward position as she is still dating Elliot, Christian's brother, any fool can see it is getting serious between them as they have been inseparable since she returned from Barbados.

I sigh and try to explain my reasoning, "No Kate, I know he wouldn't want this, so why tell him, what he doesn't know won't hurt him, and trust me Kate if he knew it would hurt him and despite the fact we are no longer together I don't want to hurt him, there is no way he would want to be a father," I say soberly.

"But…" Kate argues.

"I said no! He is not to know so don't get any ideas about telling him or having him find out somehow" I say firmly. I glare at her and eventually after a moment's silence she capitulates.

She holds up her hands, "Ok, you have my word, I won't breathe a word, but this is Christian Grey we are talking about, there is no way on earth you will be able to keep this from him indefinitely, he _will_ find out eventually and when he does he won't be happy that you kept it from him".

I take a deep breath; I know it will be inevitable that he will find out eventually. But right now I can't cope with his reaction to this, or should I say over reaction, as that is what it will be, I know for certain that it will be a monumental over reaction the like of which will put all his other tantrums that I have witnessed in the shade. I know it will be huge and probably very unpleasant and call me a coward but I just don't want to have to deal with that.

I retreat to my room and sit down at my small desk with a notepad and pen, I need to work out what I am going to do, I have a job, for now and a place to live, for now, but if I am going to have a baby it is likely I will have neither of these options for the long term. My job as an intern probably wouldn't include taking time out to have a baby, and I couldn't bring a baby to live here as it just wouldn't be fair on Kate. So what I need to do is save every penny I am earning so that I can financially provide for my baby. I still have most of the money Christian gave me for Wanda, I am certain he was over generous, but now I am thankful of that. I will have hospital bills to pay but I do have some health insurance so hopefully that will cover the essentials.

As I am thinking about this there is a knock on the door, "Ana" Kate's voice comes to me.

"Yes" I call back.

"Can I come in?" she asks.

I sigh; "Ok" I say and watch as the door opens.

She looks at me, "Ana, now I know what you said, but... you have to be sensible about this, having a baby is expensive and well... I don't want to be rude, but financially speaking you are not exactly well off" she stops.

I lean back, "and the father of my baby is a multi billionaire who could easily afford to contribute" I say bitterly.

Kate looks uncomfortable but nods. I stubbornly shake my head, "No, what would it look like, I'll tell you what it would look like, that I had engineered the whole thing to get my hands on his money and I really don't want to put myself through that."

"Christian wouldn't think that, he knows you're not like that," Kate argues.

"No, I know" I agree, "_he_ wouldn't, but plenty of others would, and don't forget that the media takes an interest in what Christian does, you saw how they started sniffing around as soon as we started dating, mainly because Christian had never been seen publicly with a woman, but can you imagine if the press got hold of this, they would have a field day, and that is another thing I really don't want to have to deal with." I stop talking and shake my head.

"Just think about things carefully Ana, it's not just you that you have to consider now, you need to do what's best for your baby too" and with that Kate turns and walks out of the room.

I lean forward and rest my head on my hands what the hell am I going to do? I really need some advice, but whom? I go through my options, my mother would be the obvious choice but I can just imagine her reaction, it would be a little too close to home for her to be objective, Ray? I shudder at the thought, he would be supportive of me, no doubt about it, but he would be furious with Christian and would definitely want to tell him, he would insist on it, if only to tear him off a strip. I think carefully, I really do have no other choice; I have to tell Christian... eventually. I pause, if I can get a plan together and get everything straight in my own mind first before I take that step. Yes that is what I will do. I grab my pen and notepad and start working out what I am going to do.

**oooOOOooo**

_Two months later..._

I nervously make my way to the pre natal department of the hospital, I always hold my breath when I am here until I am safely at my doctors office in case I bump into Grace. Because I was in denial and didn't actually find out for sure till I was nearly 12 weeks pregnant I am now nearly 20 weeks pregnant and as such I have an obvious little bump starting to show. Time has passed and I still haven't spoken to Christian and the longer time has gone on the less inclined I am do to so. I have spotted Grace many times on my visits here but managed to not let her see me.

I turn a corner and make my way quickly with my head down and then I freeze as my worst fears are realised as I see Grace walking straight towards me. I glance quickly around but there is nowhere to run and hide, I have nowhere to go, so I take a deep breath and finally face the inevitable.

As I approach, she sees me and recognition fills her face and she smiles kindly at me, my heart lurches, she is a good woman and I am carrying her first grandchild.

"Ana dear, how are you, what are you doing here?" Grace says still smiling widely at me, I watch as her eyes move downwards and then widen as she sees my bump.

"Hello Grace" I say trying desperately to keep the tremor out of my voice.

"How far along are you?" Grace asks without any preamble, I can see her looking at me and I can almost see her doing the maths in her head and her eyes betray the hope that she is indeed seeing evidence of her first grandchild.

"Twenty weeks" I whisper and wait as she does the maths and confirms that suspicion by what she says next.

"Does Christian know?" she asks gently and as I shake my head the tears start to fall.

I feel her arm go around me and she pulls me close. "Oh Ana darling don't cry, come with me and let's have a little chat" she says.

I shake my head and push away from her. "No, I'm sorry Grace, but I can't, I don't mean to be rude but I have my appointment and then I have to get back to work" I say.

I see the disappointment but she nods, "Of course, you do, I don't want to make you late" she says and relieved I step away and head to my doctors office, but as I walk away I am also filled with a sense of foreboding as I know for sure that I won't be able to keep this from Christian any longer as now Grace knows it is inevitable that she will tell him that she has seen me and where she has seen me.

I wait patiently in the waiting room for my name to be called, I am now over the encounter with Grace and resigned to the fact that at some point in the near future Christian will know about this, I am in my own little world when I feel my purse vibrating, I fumble inside searching for my phone, and as I pull it out I nearly drop it in shock as I see Christian's name on the screen. I have had no contact with him since that day I walked out of Escala and I had forgotten his number was still programmed into my phone, as I debate whether or not to take the call I hear my name called.

"Ana Steele" the nurse calls and this makes my decision for me, I press reject, switch off my phone and push it back into my purse. I know as soon as I do it that, that was probably the worst thing I could have done, but I am still putting off the inevitable but now I'm also resigned to the fact that by doing what I have just done I have now probably angered him and he will be now coming to track me down. I am also more than a little shocked at just how quickly Grace has told him, she must have gone straight to her office and called him immediately after leaving me.

I walk into the doctor's office and taking a deep breath I paste a bright smile on my face as I look at Dr Whitaker, my doctor.

"Hello Ana, please come and sit down, are you alright?" she says and she looks closely at me. I am obviously not masking my emotions very well, and this moment I have about a hundred of them coursing through me.

"I'm fine" I say as I sit down.

Dr Whitaker frowns and clasps her hands in front of her, "I don't think you are, talk to me" she says.

I sigh and a lone tear escapes my eye, I shake my head, "I'm fine honestly" I insist. I want this appointment over with so I can get away and think about how I am going to really have to finally face Christian now.

Dr Whitaker shakes her head, "Alright, if you say so, let's get started shall we," she says and opens my file.

I try and concentrate on everything the doctor is saying, I am weighed and all the usual procedures are followed but I'm totally paying attention as my mind is still working out when and how I am going get to Christian to talk to him about this, that decision is made for me a moment later as I hear a commotion outside and the door flies open and for the first time since I left him I lay eyes on Christian Grey.

"I'm sorry sir you can't go in there" a flustered nurse says and she looks towards the doctor apologetically. "I'm sorry I tried to stop him" she adds.

Dr Whitaker stands up, she is a tall woman and she is glaring at Christian. "I'm sorry sir as you can see I am with a patient at the moment" she says.

Christian is clearly beside himself, his hair is all over the place where he has run his hands through it, and fury is radiating from him, I shrink back into my seat and Dr Whitaker sees my reaction and her eyes widen.

"Do you know this man Ana?" she asks.

I nod wordlessly, as Christian's eyes drop to my swollen stomach and he starts breathing heavily, I take a moment to really look at him, and I realise it's not just anger that is coming off him in waves it's fear that's consuming him and self loathing, and in that moment I just want to take him in my arms and tell him everything will be ok, but of course I can't, to start with we are no longer together but more importantly I can't touch him, I never could.

"Anastasia" he says looking at me.

"Please Christian, just go, I promise I'll talk to you, but not now" I say with more confidence than I am feeling.

I watch as he goes to protest but then he nods once and turns on his heel and leaves, closing the door behind him. I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding and sag with relief that he is gone not to mention slightly astounded that he capitulated so easily.

"Would you like to talk about that?" Dr Whitaker says gently gesturing to the now closed door but I shake my head.

"Ok" she says and returns her attention back to the matter in hand. She glances up at me once more. "Is he your baby's father?" she pushes.

I burst into tears and nod.

"And I take it he was unaware of the pregnancy until now" she says.

I nod again, "we're not together, we broke up before I found out I was pregnant, I felt it was easier to keep him in the dark" I say.

"For who?" Dr Whitaker says gently.

"For both of us, you saw his reaction just now, this is the last thing he would want, and I just can't deal with his over-reaction at the moment" I explain.

Dr Whitaker nods, "Alright" she taps her pen on the paper, "But he found out?" she says.

I nod, "yes, I bumped into his mother as I was on my way here, I'm actually quite impressed she told him so quickly," I say with more than a little bitterness and sarcasm in my voice.

"I can imagine you feel that was unhelpful but I'm sure Grace assumed she was doing what she thought was best, and there would be no malice intended" Dr Whitaker says carefully.

My face whips up and I look at her, of course she would recognise Christian and know that Grace was his mother.

"I didn't do it on purpose you know, that's another reason I didn't tell him, I know how this looks" I say defensively.

Dr Whitaker smiles and puts her pen down. "Ana, you don't have to justify anything, and it is glaringly obvious that you didn't manipulate this situation, if that was your intention, Christian Grey would have been aware of the baby long before now."

The consultation continues and then we head out the back to the ultrasound scan machine, I hop up on to the bed and wait, my eyes glued to the screen. I had been wondering whether or not to find out the sex of the baby today, part of me would like to know so I can plan but another part of me wants to be surprised when the baby is born.

"Were you wanting to find out the baby's sex today Ana?" Dr Whitaker asks as she does all the necessary checks and examinations.

I think carefully and then nod, "Erm... yes I think I would" I say.

She smiles and runs the wand over my swollen stomach "Baby is being incredibly cooperative and showing us everything we need to know" she says as she freezes the screen and points. I look and I can make out the baby's legs but apart from that I am at a loss. I stare helplessly at the screen.

"Do you see that, that is proof that you have a very healthy baby boy" Dr Whitaker says.

"A boy" I whisper as I stare at the screen, Christian has a son, I have a son, I swallow hard and a tear escapes my eye. "Can I have a picture please?" I ask and Dr Whitaker nods.

She pauses and looks at me, "How many copies would you like?" she asks gently.

I take a deep breath, it would be unfair of me not to get one for Christian, now that he knows but would he really want one? I bite my lip as I consider this.

"Two please" I say eventually with a sense of resignation and Dr Whitaker nods and a moment later I hear the printer whirring as my picture is produced.

Dr Whitaker hands me the photographs and smiles kindly at me, "You are doing the right thing" she says as she places the photographs into my hand.

I nod, and after pausing to look at the little figure on the picture in my hand I slip one of the photographs into my bag. I tentatively open the door of Dr Whitakers office and as I suspected Christian is waiting the other side of it, he is leaning against the wall and Taylor is beside him standing close to him, talking to him, as he hears the door open Christian looks up and pushes away from the wall and takes a step towards me, I thrust my hand out towards him and his eyes drop to the picture in my hand.

"It's a little boy, I found out today" I say, as I offer him the photograph.

I watch as he takes a sharp breath in and takes the offered photograph, I see his eyes soften slightly as he gazes at the grainy picture.

"Why didn't you tell me?" he whispers, his eyes still fixed on the picture.

I don't answer for a moment and he looks up at me.

"Answer me, why didn't you tell me, don't you think I had a right to know about this?" he snaps, the anger leaking into his tone.

I hold up my hand. "Because I knew how you would react, or should I say over-react and I was spot on, but this isn't the time or place to discuss this and I have to get back to work" I say defiantly.

Christian takes a step towards me and I instinctively take a step back and he freezes, then closing his eyes he takes a deep breath and opens them looking straight at me.

"We need to talk about this Anastasia" he says sharply.

I nod, "I don't disagree, and for what it's worth, I'm sorry for the way you found out, but I honestly thought I was doing the right thing," I say.

Christian nods, "but why didn't you tell me?" he asks again.

I shrug, "a number of reasons, as I say I knew you would react badly to the news, also we had broken up and... the reasons why we broke up," I pause glancing at Taylor and I regret those words as soon as I see the self loathing appear on his face, so I quickly try and offer another reason, "you were no longer in my life and I didn't want you to think I'd done it deliberately just to trap you or get my hands on your money, plus I knew you wouldn't want it... him, then there's... your lifestyle" I stop as I see him stiffen at that last part.

"You seriously think I would consider for one moment that you did this on purpose for financial gain?!" he says incredulously, totally ignoring everything else I said.

I shrug again, "If you didn't everyone else would" I retort.

"Fuck everyone else!" he splutters and he takes another step towards me, I take another step back and feel the door behind me, I have nowhere else to go and I panic slightly.

"Look, I really have to get back to work, I accept I was wrong not telling you, and I'm sorry, but this doesn't change anything between us and I know you will want to talk about this, but right now I really have to go" I say, I pull my bag on to my shoulder and side step him to walk away, as I do so he grabs my wrist.

I look down at his hand, "Let me go Christian" I say calmly.

"Sir" Taylor says almost warningly and I feel him release me.

"We _are _going to talk about this Anastasia" he says before his hand leaves my arm

"I understand that, but not now" I say, I look up at him, "Goodbye Christian" I say.

He doesn't respond and almost flinches at those words and I quickly walk away, as I do so I meet Taylor's eyes and he smiles at me kindly.

**oooOOOooo**

**CHRISTIAN**

I can't fucking believe this; I march back into my office barking at Andrea to hold my calls and cancel my meetings before I slam the door shut. I sit down with a thud and reach into my pocket and pull out the picture Ana gave me.

A boy, I have a son, I run my finger over the picture, my son, seeing the little figure fills me with a sense of overwhelming protectiveness, this is my son. Then I go cold with fear and doubt, what sort of father can I be? Ana was too afraid to even tell me because she knew how I would react and if she hadn't run into my mother I wouldn't have known at all, my mind goes back to the phone call which has changed my life.

"_Mr Grey I have your mother on line one she says it's urgent," Andrea's voice comes through the intercom._

_I sigh, "Put her through" I say as I lift my desk phone up and press the flashing line._

"_Christian?" she says before I can open my mouth and I freeze she sounds upset, and worried._

"_Mom, what's wrong?" I ask._

"_Christian, have you spoken to Ana at all since you two parted?" she asks warily._

"_No" I say sharply, pain of the way she left me still hurts now a couple of months later and I clutch at my chest as I feel the familiar ache there at the mention of her name. I had tried repeatedly to win her back but she blocked my every move._

"_Christian, I saw her today... at the hospital" my mother says slowly and carefully. _

"_And?" I say dismissively but worry immediately fills me, Ana is sick? Hurt? What's wrong with her?_

"_She was in the Pre natal department seeing Dr Whitaker who was running a pre natal surgery"._

_I freeze and an icy sensation washes over me, Ana is pregnant? Jealousy surges through me as I wonder who she has been with and my fist clenches into a tight ball. The silence spreads out between us, so much so my mother speaks again._

"_Are you still there? Did you hear me? Ana is pregnant, Christian, I asked her how far along she was and she said 20 weeks, now I'm not sure but I think that pretty much seems to be when she was seeing you, do you think the baby could be yours?"_

_The jealously vanishes in a flash as I quickly calculate the dates, now I know for a fact the baby is mine, my sense starts to return as I think over my reaction, of course she hasn't been with anyone else, what was I thinking? I know this, as I have kept a discreet eye on Ana since she left me and I know she hasn't been seen with anyone else, but I had no idea she was pregnant, why the hell didn't someone pick up on this? The last lot of pictures I received of her I thought she had put on a little weight and I was pleased as she was always too thin but I never imagined..._

"_Christian are you there?" my mother says again._

"_Yes, I'm here, and yes that tallies to when Ana and I were together" I say almost in a monotone._

"_What happened between you two? She seemed almost afraid when she saw me and she admitted that she hadn't told you about the baby" my mother says._

_I close my eyes at that and the pain in my chest intensifies "We wanted different things mom, and I couldn't give her what she wanted from me so she left me" the pain worsens as the memory of that day fills me._

"_Did she cheat on you, has she not told you because this could be another man's baby?" she asks._

"_NO!" I shout, "No, she didn't cheat on me" I say in a more measured tone, "Look I have to go" I say, I need to see her, speak to her, find out why she hasn't told me about this._

"_Yes, of course darling but promise me you will call her and speak to her about this, you will need to organise a DNA test to establish whether or not you are the father and if you are..."_

_I cut her off, "Yes mom, thanks for telling me I need to go now" I say and without another word I kill the call._

I return to the here and now and stare at the picture, what the fuck am I going to do? I reach for my phone and call John Flynn, he knows what happened when Ana left me, he had tried to encourage me to see if I could have a regular relationship with her but I had knocked that one on the head straight away.

"Hello" I hear the familiar English accent and relax slightly.

"John, I need to see you – now" I say.

"Alright, do you want to make your way over here as that gives me time to rearrange my schedule" he says patiently.

"Yes" I reply, "thank you" I add and I hear the intake of breath – am I really that much of an asshole that he is shocked when I am polite? I end the call and contact Taylor.

"Sir?" he says in usual calm efficient manner.

"Taylor I'm going to see John Flynn – now" I say.

"I'll meet you outside sir" Taylor says, I kill the call and open my office door.

"Andrea, I'm heading out, I'm not sure when I'll be back, cancel and reschedule my appointments for the rest of the day, take my calls and anything which needs urgent attention put through to Ros" I say.

Andrea nods, "yes sir" she replies.

With that, I head out, as I leave the building I see Taylor waiting by the kerb. I climb in and watch as he glances at me through the rear view mirror.

"What the fuck am I going to do?" I ask as I meet his eyes.

"Permission to speak freely sir?" Taylor asks.

I wave my hand dismissively and I hear him sigh.

"My guess is, Ana is scared, which is the main reason why she didn't tell you in the first place, you need to handle this carefully. You can't charge in there and try and railroad her, she…"

"She is carrying my child!" I splutter interrupting him.

"Yes sir, I know that, but she clearly doesn't trust you, because she didn't tell you, so you need to earn her trust back again"

I sigh, and I know he is talking sense, he doesn't say any more and drives me to Flynn's office in silence. As I climb out of the car I turn to Taylor.

"Thank you, you talked a lot of sense" I say quietly and I watch as his eyes widen and once again I am left wondering how much of an asshole I really am.

**ANA**

I am back at work, but distracted I can't concentrate on the manuscript in front me; I unconsciously run my hand over my bump. I knew that this day would happen eventually, I was resigned to the fact Christian would find out about the baby at some point and I _was_ planning on telling him myself about it eventually, it's just none of it has gone the way I intended, even though I am not sure myself how I intended it to happen.

I sigh and pick up my pencil and try and focus on the job I am supposed to be doing.

I look up as I see a figure looming in front of my desk.

"Jack, what can I do for you?" I ask, as I look up into the face of my boss Jack Hyde.

He just dumps four more manuscripts on my desk mutters what he wants me to do with them and then turns to walk away.

I shake my head and wonder, not for the first time what I have done, although I am not complaining about this new behaviour, his over solicitous and downright creepy and sleazy behaviour when I first joined the company seemed to come to an abrupt stop and he backed right off when my pregnancy became common knowledge. Nobody here knows about my relationship with Christian or our break up, nobody knows I am going to be a single mother, they all assume I am in a relationship and I am having a baby, that seems to have upset him and now he spends most of his time just sulking with me.

I sigh and pick up the manuscripts and look through them, I cringe as I look at one of the authors, I have read other manuscripts from this particular person and I have never been particularly impressed with them.

My day continues and soon I decide to stop for lunch – since I found out I was pregnant I forced myself to eat properly and take care of myself as it wasn't just me anymore, plus the fact I discovered I actually wanted to eat and was hungry a lot of the time after I got over the initial phase of morning sickness. I smile as I think how that would please Christian, who always complained about my eating habits. I pick up my bag and grab my jacket before heading out.

"I'm going for lunch" I say to Jack and he replies with a grunt.

I roll my eyes and head out, as I reach the reception area Claire looks up and smiles at me.

"I'm going for lunch" I repeat and she nods.

"Ok Ana, see you later" she says kindly.

I step out on to the sidewalk and take a deep breath, and then I shiver as I pull my jacket closer, its October now and the bite of Autumn is in the air. I make my way to my favourite deli and after placing my order I take a seat and sip my tea.

I am just finishing my lunch as I perceive someone approaching, I look up and see Taylor, he smiles at me, I immediately look around him and sure enough I see Christian hovering by the door.

"Miss Steele" Taylor says politely.

I sigh, I knew that this was coming, I look at my watch I have half an hour left of my lunch break.

"Would you mind coming with me please, Mr Grey would like to talk to you?" Taylor asks me politely but almost apologetically.

I shake my head, "No, I can't, I don't have the time, I'm on my lunch break and I don't have long left, if Christian wants to speak to me he needs to come here as I have to leave to get back to work soon" I say stubbornly.

I see Taylor smile and he turns and relays my message, I watch as Christian's hand moves immediately to his head and then he nods and walks towards me. He pauses by the seat opposite me and then pulling out the chair he sits down.

"We need to talk and I don't particularly want to discuss this here" he states abruptly and coldly.

I smile sweetly at him "Hello to you too Christian, yes I'm fine thanks how are you?" I say, my words dripping with sarcasm. I watch as he scowls at me and I sigh, but hold my ground.

"Ok, fine but I'm not moving, it's here or nowhere because I don't have the time to go anywhere else as I have to be back at work in a short while," I retort.

"Anastasia, please" he says.

I lean forward, "Look, I know I was wrong not telling you, but now you know it doesn't change anything" I snap a little more sharply than I intended.

"Oh but it does, it changes everything, by the very fact you are carrying _my_ child," Christian hisses back at me.

The possessive way he said my child sends fear coursing through me, oh my god is he going to try and take the baby from me? My hand once more moves to my stomach.

"You are not taking my baby away from me" I blurt out before I can stop myself, I watch as shock fills Christians face.

"I have no intention of taking _our_ baby from you" he says almost affronted that I would consider such a thing, "Jesus Christ Ana, what kind of a monster do you think I am that I would remove a child from its mother?" he adds.

I regret my words and reach across the table towards him. "I'm sorry, look we do need to discuss this, and you are right, here isn't the right place, can I see you after work, and we can talk about everything somewhere in private?" I ask tentatively.

I watch as he considers this and he nods, "Alright, I'll pick you up from work, I'll be waiting outside at 5pm" he says and with that he stands and without another word turns and is gone.

**oooOOOooo**

The rest of my day passes without incident and soon it is 5pm, I sigh as I shut down my computer and toss the final manuscript into the tray. I pause as I pick up my bag and my jacket, I am not looking forward to this one little bit, I know this has probably turned Christian's world upside down and considering how much he likes to have complete control over every last detail this is something totally out of his control, and Christians reaction to anything out of his control is to lash out at it. I wonder what his day has been like since he found out about the baby. I am hoping he did the sensible thing and arranged to see Dr Flynn, as I'm sure he would manage to calm him down a little and try and get him to see some sense.

I say goodnight to Jack and to Claire and make my way outside, as I expected the familiar black Audi SUV is waiting at the kerb and as I emerge from SIP, Taylor jumps out of the driver seat and comes around the car to greet me.

"Hi Taylor" I say.

Taylor smiles sympathetically, he must have caught the almost resigned tone of my voice.

I glance at the car, "Is he in there?" I whisper and Taylor nods.

"Yes" he replies.

I sigh deeply again as I move towards the car and Taylor opens the door for me. I don't say a word as I climb in but once I am seated I turn and smile at Taylor and thank him, he simply nods and returns to the driver's seat. A moment later the car is moving out into the flow of traffic.

I compose myself and turn towards Christian who has yet to say anything, I take a moment to look at him, he is still totally breathtakingly gorgeous, but at this moment he looks lost and afraid, and my heart breaks as this is just what I wanted to avoid. He has no idea how to deal with this and as a result he is in a mental tailspin.

"Hello Christian" I begin when it becomes clear he isn't going to say anything.

This seems to bring him back from whatever dark thoughts he was immersed in and he greets me politely.

"Good Evening Miss Steele" he says stiffly and my heart sinks at the tone of his voice and his manner, he has shut down completely, this is going to be hard work.

I glance out of the window, "Where are we going?" I ask.

Christian looks at me carefully, "I thought we could go to Escala and we can talk there, but if you wanted to go somewhere else I'm sure I could think of somewhere suitable" he says.

I think about that, I'm not overly keen on the idea of going to Escala but on the other hand it is private, "Escala is fine" I reply and I see Christian relax a little, but he doesn't say any more.

"So, how have you been?" I ask eventually when I can't stand the oppressive silence any longer.

I watch as he raises sad eyes towards me "since the day you left me I have been in perpetual darkness" he says bleakly.

Well, ok then! How do you answer that? I bite my lip as I'm not sure what to say next. But my natural compassion takes over and I reach for his hand and squeeze it gently, as we touch the familiar sensation almost akin to a surge of electricity goes through me, and I try and stifle my gasp.

"Christian, I will never forget what we shared in the short time we were together, you were my first, and to this day you are the only man I have ever been intimate with, we just weren't compatible, we are too different and wanted and needed different things" I say.

Christian suddenly moves and grabs my hand tightly, "You told me you loved me" he says sharply almost accusingly.

I nod and swallow hard, memories of that fateful day stampeding through my mind, "I did and I meant every word" I say.

I watch as he takes in a sharp breath, "and yet you left me" he mutters.

I nod, "I did, because I couldn't be what you wanted me to be, I couldn't do the things you wanted to do, I asked you to show me how bad it could be and you did and I realised I couldn't do it, I couldn't let you do that to me, it's quite simple Christian I didn't like it and I wasn't prepared to put myself though that, so I had to be honest to myself as well as to you, even though I love you I couldn't stay and let you do things to me which I didn't like and I was uncomfortable with, that's not fair on either of us and not how a relationship works, I would have ended up resenting, even hating you. Yes I still love you, a part of me always will, but I can't be what you need, I am not a submissive, it's not in my nature to be submissive". I pause and wait as he considers what I have just said.

"You told me you would never leave me, it was the most comforting thing I had ever heard, and it made me relax, but then you left me," he says almost accusingly.

I stare at him in shock, and try and wrack my brain as I don't recall ever saying anything like that to him, I remember saying I loved him, but not that I would never leave him. I shake my head.

"I didn't say that, when did I say that?" I ask a little defensively.

He looks slightly uncomfortable "you were dreaming, I was watching you sleep and you said it in your dream" he mutters.

I stare at him incredulously, he is accusing me of breaking a promise I didn't even realise I had made because I had said it whilst unconscious! He notices the expression on my face and shifts in his seat.

"Things have changed" he says after a moment.

I look up at him and nod, "Yes I know that they have, but just because I'm having a baby doesn't change the fundamental point that we are incompatible" I argue.

To my surprise he shakes his head, "No, I wasn't referring to the baby, although admittedly that also changes things even more. I was talking about me, I've changed," he says earnestly and he looks straight at me as he says this, almost pleading with me to believe him.

I am wondering what he means by that and open my mouth to reply but quickly realise the car has stopped, I look outside and see we are in the familiar surroundings of the underground garage at Escala. Christian climbs out of the car and comes round and opens my door for me, he holds out his hand and after a slight hesitation I place mine in his to allow him to help me out. I feel the surge of electricity as we touch once more, the magnetic pull towards him, it's still there, I really need to be careful.

"Thank you" I say quietly as I release my hand from his and push my bag onto my shoulder.

Christian holds open the door "After you" he says.

I walk inside and head towards the elevator. Christian follows me in and keys in the code for the penthouse and we wait in silence as the elevator moves. The doors finally open to the familiar foyer and I take a deep breath and follow Christian out into the apartment. I look around, everything is just as I remember it and I move inside. Before either of us can say anything Gail appears and stops dead as she sees me.

"Oh, Miss Steele" she says and she smiles widely at me. She quickly pulls herself together, dinner will be ready in 10 minutes sir, will it be for the two of you?" she asks almost hopefully.

Christian nods, "Yes it will… thank you" he replies and I watch as Gail's eyes widen slightly and she beams even wider and then she nods and disappears out of the way.

"Would you like anything to drink?" Christian asks me nervously.

I nod, "I'd love some coca cola if you have it, I have been craving sweet fizzy drinks for a few weeks now" I say as I run my hand over my bump.

Christian nods and vanishes into the kitchen area and whispers something to Gail, she shakes her head and I watch as Christian pulls out his phone, it occurs to me he is organising someone to fetch some coca cola and I move towards him.

"If you don't have any, water is fine" I say.

"No" he snaps sharply and then closes his eyes and takes a deep breath, when he opens them he looks at me kindly, "I mean, no, that's fine if you want coca cola I can get you some" he says. A few moments later Taylor appears with a bottle and leaves it on the side. I watch helplessly as Christian fills a glass full and then pours himself a glass of water and comes towards me with them.

"Shall we sit down? Let's get comfortable and we can talk" he says offering me the glass.

"Thank you" I reply as I take it from him and we move into the great room and I carefully sit down and take a sip of my drink.

There is another silence and then we both go to speak at the same time.

"Look…" I begin, just as Christian also leans forward and opens his mouth to speak.

I stop and wait but Christian shakes his head, "No you go first" he says and he grasps his glass and waits for me to speak.

I swallow another gulp of my cola and after setting my glass down I look up and meet Christians gaze.

"I just wanted to say, I'm sorry for keeping it from you, but in my defence I honestly thought I was doing the right thing" I say and wait.

I hear Christian sigh and watch as he rubs his face with his hand. "I know, I understand now why you kept it from me, now that I've had time to think about it" he says.

I sag with relief at that and offer him a tentative smile.

"I can see why you did it, after all who would want a fuck up like me in their baby's life, you were just protecting our child" he says sadly.

My mouth drops open at that and I shake my head vigorously, "No, Christian, no!" I exclaim loudly, I stand move to sit beside him and I reach for him, I watch as he freezes and I pause.

"I'm not going to touch you, well I am, but I am just going to hold your hand, just like I did in the car" I say and I watch him relax again and he nods.

I quickly grasp his hand before he can change his mind, "Christian, please don't ever think that, that is not and never was my reason for keeping this from you, I was going to tell you eventually, it was just finding the right time, and as time went on it just got harder to do so." I think back to what I said to him this morning and I can see how he has arrived at that conclusion, and I could kick myself for making him loathe himself even more and I rush to explain myself.

"Christian, you don't want children, you made sure we were protected when we were together, I just didn't think you would want to be involved, then there is the fact of who you are, if the media got wind of the fact I was pregnant with your child they would have a field day and I would be accused of getting pregnant deliberately to get my hands on your money" he goes to interrupt but I hold up my hand.

"Please wait, I didn't want that for either of us, and I was also protecting our child from any media intrusion that news would cause" I say.

"You said this morning you didn't tell me because of my lifestyle" he says.

I nod, "I did and yes that also played a part, I _was_ worried about that, but not in the way you are thinking, I should have made myself clearer, the way I said it was hurtful and I apologise for it. I didn't want you to think you would have to choose between your lifestyle and the baby, the way you live your life may not be for me but it is something which you are happy and comfortable with, and it is something which, I believe, is what you need to cope, as you admitted yourself you have issues, that is what you know, I didn't want you have to chose between that and a child which you didn't want, I didn't want you to have to make that decision and then be resentful down the line if you felt you had made the wrong choice," I say carefully.

To my great surprise Christian lets out a loud snort of laughter, "That is quite ironic considering I am no longer participating in that lifestyle." I let out a little gasp at that revelation, Christian ignores that and continues.

"I stopped when you left me Ana, I couldn't continue to do something which had cost me so much" he pauses, "after you left, I went upstairs to the playroom and tore it apart, I destroyed it. I couldn't get your words out of my head, you told me you loved me but because of what I did to you, you couldn't be with me, because of what I did and who I was, so I stopped being that man, because that man deprived me… he deprived me of the only woman I have ever loved," he stops speaking and I am left reeling from that disclosure.

"Wait, wait a moment," I say and hold up my hand once more, "you were horrified when I told you I loved you, you said I couldn't love you" I say.

Christian nods, "I know, and I still believe that, I believe you shouldn't love me, nobody could or should love me, but I slowly came to understand that what I felt for you, the feelings I had, how you made me feel when you were around, and how wretched I have felt since you left, it made me realise that I loved you too" he pauses again, and this time he reaches for me, grasping my hand tightly, "I do love you Anastasia, and I would do anything to get back to feeling how I felt when you were in my life, I know this isn't what you came here to talk about but I need to know if I stand a chance with you, if you would ever consider coming back to me?" he looks at me desperately.

I am at a loss, I don't know what to say, it took me so long to get over him, and if I am totally honest I don't think I did totally get over him.

I quickly pull myself together, I need to get back to the reason why I am here, I have our baby to consider, this revelation has just muddied the waters, made things more complicated.

"I don't know what to say Christian, yes I still love you, but I have the baby to consider, that is why I am here and he is the most important factor at this moment in time". I wait and watch his face cloud at that.

"You want the baby more than you want me" he says childishly.

That makes me angry and I glare at him. "Yes Christian, I suppose I do, because I would put an innocent child first, because I am that child's mother, that is what a mother does, she puts her child first, and I want you to be very certain of what you are committing to, and with childish comments like that, it is clear you are not ready to be a parent" I stop and glare at him and to my surprise I watch as he literally crumbles before my very eyes, I am confused, what did I say?

"I know I am not ready to be a parent, and the very thought terrifies me" he admits sadly, he looks broken and once more my heart breaks for him.

"You will be an exemplary mother Ana, what you have just said proves that, if only my own mother had been half the person you are" as he says this he is getting more and more agitated and upset and he stands and starts pacing his hands are clutching at his head as he battles with himself.

I shake my head wondering what he means, then it dawns on me, he was adopted, Grace is his adoptive mother, he is talking about his birth mother, everything suddenly falls into place, he won't let anyone touch him, something happened to him, something bad, was he abused by his own mother? Oh my god if he was and then he was abused again by one of Grace's friends, he had told me he was seduced by a friend of his mother.

"What happened to you Christian?" I ask carefully as I watch him pacing and clutching at his head. I stand and carefully walk towards him like I am approaching a frightened injured animal, I gingerly hold out a hand towards him.

"Christian, come here and talk to me, please, let me help you, tell me what happened to you" I implore him.

I watch as he pauses in his pacing and stares at the hand I am holding out towards him, he looks at me, the lost look on his face is killing me and tears start to fall from my eyes.

"Please Christian, is this why I could never touch you? Does your birth mother have something to do with that, is that why you were adopted by Grace and Carrick? Please Christian talk to me, I do still love you I want to help you" I say.

I continue to stand there holding out my hand to him at arm's length, then I feel the baby kick me, hard, it's the first time I have felt a true kick, I gasp and my other hand moves to my stomach, I see panic and fear appear on Christians face.

"Ana what is it, are you in pain, is something wrong?" he gasps and he lurches towards me and his hand reaches for me and without thinking I grasp it and press it to my stomach where our son is still kicking furiously.

He freezes and stares at my stomach in shock, "Is that…?" he whispers.

I nod, "that is your son moving Christian, your child," I pause and release my grip on his hand which is still frozen on my stomach, "talk to me Christian please, tell me what happened, tell me so I can understand and I can try and help you, and then you can help me raise our child, if you want to" I am almost pleading with him, willing him to talk to me.

"I…I…" he stops and shakes his head, "You should go, go now and don't look back, I'm no good for you or the baby, I can't be a father, you don't have to worry about anything though, I will take full financial responsibility, you won't have to worry about that and our child will want for nothing, just tell me what you need and I will provide it for him, but I can't, I just can't" I watch in shock as he backs away from me.

"Stop! Christian calm down, just stop, come and sit down and talk to me please" I beg.

I watch as Christian continues to wage war on himself, I realise he is pushing me away because he doesn't think he is good enough, isn't worthy to be a father, he believes he is too broken, to damaged to be a good father, and compassion fills me.

"Sit down Christian and just talk to me" I say gently.

I watch as he shakes his head but he does sit down, although his hands are still clutching at his head.

I carefully sit myself beside him, and reach for his hand once more, I make my movements slow and deliberate so that he doesn't panic any more than he already is doing.

"Ok?" I ask and he looks at our joined hands and nods.

"What happened to you?" I ask again after a moment.

I wait and wait and when I think he isn't going to speak I go to say something he finally utters a few simple words.

"My birth mother was a drug addict, she prostituted herself to feed her habit, she had a pimp, he… he… " he stops and screws his eyes shut, his breathing is getting more rapid as he clearly remembers something horrific.

I squeeze his hand, "It's ok, you are safe Christian, you are here at Escala with me, you are safe," I say gently.

"He hit me, he kicked me across rooms, he… he…" he stops and my mind flies to the memory of seeing the scars on his chest and back, the ones I thought were chicken pox scars, I swallow hard.

"Did he cause the scars you have on your chest and back?" I ask carefully and I watch as Christian nods.

"Cigarettes" he says.

"What about them?" I ask in confusion.

"He used to put them out on me, that is what caused the scars, they are from his cigarettes when he stubbed them out on my chest and back," he says, he is now trembling and I long to take him in my arms and comfort him.

"Oh Christian" I say, and he opens his eyes and looks at me.

"I really want to hold you, comfort you, please tell me where I can touch you" I beg.

I watch as he braces himself, "Place your arms around my neck, but please don't touch my chest or back" he says, I take the invitation and move in carefully, placing my arms awkwardly around his neck. He responds by wrapping his arms around me tightly and pulling me into his lap. To my great surprise he rests his head against me, like a child seeking comfort.

"I take it your mother didn't protect you from him?" I ask after a few moments.

Christian shakes his head sadly, "No, she was afraid of him, plus she was dependent on him for her drugs, her drugs were more important to her than I was," he says sadly.

"But you were adopted by Grace and Carrick, you were rescued, did child services get involved and take you away from her?" I ask.

To my surprise Christian shakes his head, he lifts his head from my shoulder and looks at me as he explains what happened to him, "No, she died from an overdose, I was trapped in our apartment with her dead body for a few days, I had no idea she was dead I was only about 4, she was just lying there on the floor, she was so cold and she wouldn't wake up, so I put a blanket over her to keep her warm, then he came and found her, I hid but he found me and hit me, then he called the police and… and then he left, he left and locked the door, a while later the police came, I was taken to the hospital, Grace was the doctor on duty and she saved me," I watch as a smile appears on his lips as he talks about Grace.

I stare at him in utter shock at everything he has just told me, no wonder he has so many issues, his childhood before he was adopted was horrific and then in his teen years he was abused again by that woman. I reach up and try and smooth his hair which he has been grasping at and running his hands through, and my heart aches as he moves his head into my hand and nuzzles into it.

"Oh Christian" I say, he opens his eyes and looks fearfully at me.

"So, now you know" he says.

I nod, "I do, thank you for telling me, why didn't you tell me this before? It explains everything… well almost everything" I say.

Christian looks at me questioningly.

"Your fear of being touched, all you knew from an early age was pain when someone touched you it's no wonder that damaged you, your childhood before you were adopted was just filled with fear, and loss, when your mom died, and you were left there with her body, with no idea what was happening, everything was beyond your control, things happened to you, it's no wonder you feel you have to have control over everything now" I say.

I am still anchored to Christian's lap and he has his arms tightly around me, he looks at me hopefully, "I love you Ana" he whispers.

"You are the first person I have ever wanted more with, you are the first person to even make me consider the thought of more, and now you are the only person apart from Grace and Carrick who know all about where I came from, I still want more with you, I want you back"

I let out a small snort and shake my head, "well more is a slight understatement, considering the situation we are now in with the baby" I say.

I watch as he stiffens slightly at the mention of the baby, but I am determined to bring this conversation back the reason I am here tonight.

I think carefully about how I am going to word what I want to say. "Christian, I know that finding out about this has freaked you out, I understand that you believe that you can't be a father, and if all you think you are able to offer your son is money then I think you are underestimating yourself and your abilities. Yes parenthood is hard, and there is no manual, you have to go by your instincts and do what you believe is best, but a baby needs more than 'things' and 'money' a baby needs love, attention and to know that they always have someone they can turn to someone to protect them from harm, and you should know that better than anyone after what you have just told me" I pause and let him think about that, I watch as he nods in agreement and then I continue.

"Children need consistency too, they don't need someone who is there one moment and then goes again and lets them down, or who is there but not fully there, only being there because they believe they have to be is sometimes worse than not being there at all, I learnt that fact with my own mother, it if hadn't been for Ray's constant reliable love I wouldn't be the person I am today, so yes it's a huge responsibility, but it's also a very rewarding one, but having said all that, it's not something I want you to feel forced into, you need to make up your mind about this and then stick with your decision."

I stop speaking and wait for some kind of response, the silence spreads out between us and I wonder if Christian is going to say anything at all, then after what seems like an eternity he finally speaks.

"I…I'm just not sure what I have to offer a child other than money and material security" he says sadly, and that honesty in that one sentence sums up for me Christian in a nutshell, he doesn't believe he is good enough.

Considering the arrogant façade he shows to the world I am actually quite astounded at just how insecure and vulnerable he really is and yet after hearing all about his childhood tonight I can understand why.

"You don't believe that you can be a father, so you think the child will be better off without you" I say summing up what I think is going on here.

Christian considers that and then nods. I shake my head, "No Christian you are wrong, you have so much love to give, you are a good man, I wouldn't have fallen in love with you if you weren't" I say.

"But you don't want me now," he retorts.

I sigh we are going around in circles, I can understand that this all must sound contradictory after I kept the fact I was pregnant from him for months and now I am trying to persuade him he is good enough to be a father, I too am a little bit confused as to where this is all going, so there is really no hope for Christian who has such limited relationship skills. Then it hits me with the force of a wrecking ball, and with more clarity that I have ever had in my life, I _do_ want him, I want Christian back but I am fighting it because I _don't_ want that lifestyle, but he has just told me a few moments ago he is no longer in that lifestyle, didn't he? I need to clarify this fact.

I look up into his face, "Christian, you said you tore down your playroom, destroyed it" I begin.

He nods and moves, I climb off his knee and he stands and holds out his hand to me.

"Come, let me show you" he says, I slip my hand into his and we move across the great room towards the stairs, as we do so Christian glances towards the kitchen area.

Gail looks across at us and smiles, "Dinner is ready when you are sir" she says politely.

Christian nods, "Thank you, we will be there in a moment," he replies and then he leads me up the stairs towards the playroom. He pauses outside the door and opens it and that is the first difference, this room was always locked now it isn't, I swallow hard as memories of that last day intrude into my mind.

But when he opens the door I gasp, it couldn't be more different, the room is now painted white like every other room in this place, all the dark furniture is gone, and the fixtures and then I stop dead as I look at the walls, the far end of the room has spot lights trained on a wall filled with… me, I stare in shock at the huge portraits of me which I hadn't seen since Jose's show in Portland, and my reaction now is much like the one I had that night when I saw them, one of pure shock and horror.

I stare open mouthed at them unable to say anything. Christian is watching my reaction and speaks.

"After I offered to take you to Portland to see your friend's exhibition and you turned me down, I went myself, I knew if you went that you would be driving, so I flew down there in Charlie Tango, and I went because I wanted to see you and I took the gamble that you would still go, but in the end I had to return to Seattle and as I was leaving I saw you arriving in Kate's car. I saw those pictures of you and I had to have them, your friend is a talented photographer he captured you, and offered me a side of you I never saw, I could never make you laugh like that or look so relaxed and happy and I needed them, yes I wanted those portraits, not only because they are stunning pieces of art and also because there was a part of me who couldn't bear to think of anyone else owning them and looking at you on a daily basis, but I needed them to remind me of what I had lost, of how my actions had driven you away and ruined everything, that is why they are in here, I come in here when I start getting the urge to return to that lifestyle, to remind me of what it cost me," he stops speaking and waits, he is watching me carefully, waiting for some sort of reaction from me.

I pull my eyes away from the portraits and look at the room, it is very sparsely furnished, just a sofa, a small table and his music paraphernalia, and I can almost picture him sitting in here with his music playing, staring the photos of me, and that picture is not only disturbing but it breaks my heart just a little bit more that he is punishing himself like this.

"Oh Christian, this is not healthy" I whisper.

He looks at me bleakly, "You don't understand Ana, you left me, I was desperate for you and this is all I could get, I would settle for any part I could get of you, and this is all I could get, in a strange way this room has been a comfort to me over the past couple of months."

That is when I get a second rush of realisation, a second moment of clarity that nearly knocks me off my feet, he really does love me, he has given up a lifestyle he _needed_ to cope, because of me, even though he didn't think he would ever get me back. That makes my mind up for me, I turn on the spot and hold out my arms to him, I watch as he hesitantly steps into them and I wrap my hands a little awkwardly around his neck, his arms snake around me and he holds me to him, the baby kicks again and he pulls away and looks down, his hand moving towards my bump and he places his hand over it and holds it there, almost protectively.

"I want you in my life Ana, I…I love you, I…I will try to be a good father, but I need your help as I have no idea where to start, and the whole concept terrifies me, but I choose you and our baby and I am certain about my decision" he pauses and looks me in the eye, "do you choose me?" he asks carefully.

My reaction is immediate and instinctive, I nod my head emphatically, "Yes Christian, I choose you" I say.

I watch as he takes in a sharp breath then pulls me close almost crushing me to him. I know this is going to be difficult, but in that moment I know I have made the right decision for me and for our baby.

**THE END**


End file.
